Epic Star Trek 2009 Rant [movies]

//Rant On

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I was excited for the Star Trek reboot because I thought it might appeal to the people that were always like "Star Trek…. Really? SciFi really?"

But the reboot seems angsty as fuck and Michael Bay-ed out. Really. " You've always had a hard time finding your place in the world, haven't you?" whispers Spock as he reaches for young Kirks cock (and not in a hot way – ooo that rhymed). Motherfucker please.

I'm not comparing old Star Trek and this new incarnation. I'm just saying: Why not just leave the Trek alone and do what they're doing with a whole new cast of characters and story line. OMG I forgot - Hollywood doesn't know how to generate new material - we live in the age of the remakes where producers etc just dig into the bag of comics, foreign shows and now sci fi and 80's horror films to regurgitate. And I get that. I just think Star Trek was the wrong thing to fuck with and FOR WHY?! I guess we'll have to see.

And what's the point of doing a reboot when you're losing the stuff that makes Trek the Trek. Its not Spock or Kirk, its about the lore and lessons and exploration of the human condition and our potential that sets Star Trek apart from oh, say Armageddon.

Star Trek is about human beings as a species reaching their potential after putting aside costly wars, greed, racism, sexism and all those other isms, and collectively turning their gaze and potential to the stars. In a altruistic yet fascist way, humans try to unite the universe under the Federation to spread their new found peace. I've always loved that duality about Star Trek. The Federation forces and coerces civilizations (with faster than light travel) to join the Federation – or else. They never really fuck with civilizations who are not space faring. The Federation's "or else" is a subtext the show (and movies) deal with continuously; if you and you're already self sustaining planet join the Federation you're granted access to super advanced technology that they "appropriated" from the planets that joined before you, safe trade routes, translators, etc etc. Trust me, the original mythos is good shit.

Don't get me wrong – I'm not a Star Trek purist. The original Star Trek(s) had their issues, and I'm sure this movie will be a rock 'em, sock 'em good time and have okay action sequences, but come on. Why "reboot" the franchise when you're just going to follow Hollywood's blockbuster formula and leave all the good stuff out?

Have you seen No Country For Old Men? One can do "General Audience" appeal and still have more than decent writing and a compelling story. I guess I just wonder why Hollywood thinks everyone is an idiot and/or wants to absorb entertainment for someone with an IQ below 30. People like intelligent stuff and ultimately feel let down when they pay $10 for a movie that just all around blows.

And people like Sci Fi. Umm hello?!?! The Thing? Aliens? Jurassic Park (meeeh)? Terminator? Gattaca? The Abyss? Okay most of those were by the same guy but still (J.J. Abrams needs to consult James Cameron on this mofo stat). People like good stuff as proved by most of those being the biggest grossing films of their time – most of them even created what is now known as the "Blockbuster Weekend". My point here is that you can be "out of the box" and still make a buck.

Hollywood only wants to do a certain kind of sci fi – one that looks good in a flashy trailer, has cool action scenes, tons of gadgets with no technical grounding, attractive lead cast and a fist pumping soundtrack. That's the kind of movie that will be low risk, have a big opening weekend and what do you know, that's the kind of movie Star Trek is looking like.

To water down the concepts that makes Star Trek compelling and thought provoking loses what makes Star Trek an inspiration, both artistically and personally (I'm not even going to get into the cultural impact this show has had – I suggest you Google that shit for some perspective on why I'm so bent out of shape).

Don't believe me about this caca? Read the breakdown of a jazzercised fan who saw a special presentation of some scenes from the movie and is actually excited for this bitch. Even his excited recounting illustrates how flaccid and formulaic it will be.

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