Flash Reviews: Dead Snow [movies]

Dead Snow (2009)
Zombie Horror; Norway
91 mins

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So...anybody know what the deal with Norwegians and disembowelment is? I can only imagine it's a cultural obsession because it happens a shit-ton of times in "Dead Snow". How the hell do you get your intestines caught on a tree branch as you stroll by it? I have no fucking idea, but apparently it's as common as tripping on your own shoelaces in Norway!

This movie claims to be about Nazi zombies, but really they play a very small role in the action. The fact that these zombies happened to be Nazis once upon a time doesn't really come into play except as a bit of backstory and, of course, in the costuming. Aside from that fact, this movie is like the general premise of the first "Pirates of the Caribbean" meets every other fucking movie in history where zombies stalk a group of 20-somethings in a remote cabin.

The "dumb bitch syndrome" runs rampant in this one. Do people go outside to investigate shit they really shouldn't be fucking with? Oh yea! Does someone go to the outhouse alone at night after some freaky shit has already transpired? Of course! Do the few remaining survivors split up to cover more ground and insure that they make themselves as easy to kill as possible? You better fuckin' believe they do because this is a horror movie that follows just about every horror movie cliche in the book. But you know what? It was still mildly entertaining.

Give this movie some time if you're into: anything/everything zombie related, watching stupid people make bad decisions that end in death or dismemberment.